The Way I Am

Hi there reader!

Why are you here at my blog? How did you manage to come here? Are you one of my stalkers?! Hahaha! Kidding aside, maybe you're curious about me (just MAYBE?) that's why you've come to read this insensible blog of mine. Lol. Well to give you a head start about me, I'm a deep and poetic person and I'll give you some details just down below... The fiction-comparison way! HAHAHA

I'm a 90's kid who's born from a boom box. Raised by a loving mother. Taught, inspired and developed by Disney. The alter ego of herself.

I’m Caesar Flickerman and I’m bubbly, inquisitive and talkative like a buzzing bee. I’m Effie Trinket and I’m weird just like thee. I’m Cinna and I am creative, clever, smart, sly and witty.  I’m Haymitch Abernathy and I am a mentor of myself, a stoic and an unpredictable one. I am President Coriolamus Snow and I’m a control freak and perfectionist at times and I do really strive for ultimate authority to manipulate because it’s just so appealing like Finnick! I am Gale Hawthorne and I am the best friend you were wishing under a tree. I am Peeta Mellark and I’m loyal, brave, caring, philanthropist and sacrificial most especially when you are special to me. And I am Katniss Everdeen, a strong willed 18 year old teenager, an extraordinary heroine girl striving to defy bent rulings. But what separates me from all of them is that I am real, alive, kicking and definitely not a fictional character. I am Charmaine  R. Ballesteros and my nickname is not “Catnip” but “Chamsy”. 

I am a fan of impeccable things and stuff and that makes me a perfectionist but this I know is not good but somehow I know where to limit this characteristic of mine and just be a minimal perfectionist. I am a kid who is living a normal life. A life where everyone fears rejection and humiliation but who doesn’t right? I mean just from the thought of being humiliated, embarrassed and being a laughing-stock scares me to the esophagus! I am not a showy type of person, I restrain myself from showing too much emotion and affection because I sort of feel awkward about being mawkish to things and because of this attitude of mine I always have this tendency of repressing myself from what I really feel and constantly end up showing the opposite of my supposed to be reactions. I am a total denial queen and I don’t know why but I think denying is really a part of me.

 Have you watched Vendetta already? That movie where Natalie Portman is one of the cast? Natalie and me is the same because were both pretty! (Of course that was a joke!) but seriously I think I am more like the masked man there, no scratch that! We all are like the masked man there because we all both wear social mask, a social mask that we wear whenever there is a need to hide something and on my part its more like hiding myself at times because I feel like no one can ever understand me or maybe I sort of like the feeling of being isolated from too many people, the feeling of being heedless to others because I am an introvert, well not that too introvert but sometimes I do really feel awkward around others, so yeah I am really weird, but! I’m trying to change these flaws and weaknesses of mine and make them my strengths. This sounds like an excuse but then I’m still a growing and developing young adult, full of flaws, weaknesses and lacks courage, strength and confidence. 

About my likes and dislikes, I have no particular favorite in food except pizza, ice cream, jelly beans, pasta and fries. 

I hate caffeine, they make me sleep (Yes, sleep! Believe it or not. My bodies physiological reaction is indifferent.) I have an eclectic type of music.

 I am a certified book worm and movie goer. I like adventure, sci-fi, cartoon, comedy, thriller and chick-flick movies. I own a massive collection of novel books. 

I prefer dystopian and romance based stories and my favorite by so far is the Divergent Series by Veronica Roth and The Selection Series by Kierra Cass. I'm a potter-head and is a fan of many authors like J. Green, J.K. Rowling, J.Grisham and the local one is Bob Ong! 

I am a freaking hopeless romantic who doesn't believe in "FOREVER"! Hahaha. Why? 'Cause for me forever is a time frame. It might sound romantic but its still a period of time. If I'll be the one who'll gonna love, there'll be no yardsticks or whatsoever. Try me and I'll show! Kidding!!! 

I am a fan of boy bands! I love One Direction, The Vamps and 5 Seconds of Summer! Tho I am not one of those crazy-shouting-desperate fans of them. I just keep my cool and watch them online without freaking out. Hahaha. 

And here I am the subject of this post! Me! (Forgive me for this picture LOL JOKING!) 

So yeah, there you have it! This pretty sums up my life and my personality a bit!